Tag Archives: Fiction

Authoring a life under authoritarianism

The horrors continue unabated and how, exactly, are we supposed to practice writing, or any art form? There are many brilliant creatives who have answered that question—check out the Writing CoLab’s collection of essays for starters—but that doesn’t necessarily provide any of us with an answer on a horrific day. Which they are all seeming horrific.  

Today I noted that the word authoritarian has as its root AUTHOR. How had I missed that?

Author: … the originator or maker of anything …. 

Which I am, which we all are, of our own lives, yes? Yes, with caveats.* 

But before we are authors we must be writers. And writers are just human beings, tender and funny and broken and hopeful, putting words on the page one after another.  No better and no worse than anyone else.

We get hurt, we giggle, we grieve, we pull practical jokes, we dance around in our underwear to Taylor Swift. We have therapists and limited diets and gym routines and we’ve lost parents and children and friends and beloved pets.

We make coffee in the mornings when we’ve gotten up at 4:30 because we can’t sleep, we watch the sun rise, we watch the mist burn off under that magnificent sun, then we stare at the blank page and decide maybe we should be poets, we write a few lines, those sound like the start of a story and on a good day we manage several paragraphs. We eat supper and sit on the back porch and wish we still smoked while the sun sinks.

I’m fifty-NINE, y’all, and I’m pretty much OK being a regular person who’s a writer who’s not gonna have a Glorious Writing Career (not enough years left). But I have made a decent novel I’m revising, and I have some short stories I want to see published. Sitting down to the empty page remains one of the best parts of every day. I am lucky ‘cuz when I step away from the horror I notice I have several best parts of many days—the coffee part is pretty awesome, and my partner is a delight, and the big bluestem in the front yard makes me crazy-happy with its giganticness. 

And here’s a blessing of living as a regular-person-who’s-a-writer in this decade of my lifespan, under this would-be authoritarian administration. I’m able to align my choices for action with the wisdom that pleasing others, “winning” at anything, writing Great Literature—none of it matters when you gotta dance, when you gotta weep, when you gotta organize to manifest the promise of democracy in our imperfect Constitution. 

The folks who were impossible to please won’t show up to boogie or offer consolation, and you wouldn’t want their judge-y in the room anyway. The people you worked so hard to be better than—they won’t either. You might have accidentally hurt them too badly. Books actually cannot dance or weep. 

But the people who love you, who forgive you, who ask how your day was and don’t freak out when you mumble about the muse being on strike? They will show up. They will want to dance and to grieve with you.  

BONUS WISDOM! These folks will also help you attend to your writerly soul, if you let them. And the world needs our writerly souls, people! As Ursula LeGuin said:

… hard times are coming when we will be wanting the voices of writers who can see alternatives to how we live now and can see through our fear-stricken society and its obsessive technologies to other ways of being, and even imagine some real grounds for hope. We will need writers who can remember freedom. Poets, visionaries–the realists of a larger reality. [bolded by Lesley]

So during these authoritarian times, let’s author lives full of the folks who support us, and whom we support in return. Let’s author lives of mutual respect, of mutual aid. Of the hilariousness inherent in dancing in your undies. Our dear sweet soft human bodies, dancing! Be one of the authors that imagines a better world.

May it be so. 

*Those of us who are under direct physical threat because of paperwork or skin color do not have the same level of authorship as those who are currently free of physical threats. 

One way to be such an author: engage with Indivisible, and/or their Truth Brigade #bebrave #dissentispatriotic

Virginia Quarterly Review and the awesomeness of books and moves, with emphasis on Amour and Iron Man 3

I began this post shortly after seeing  Amour — a gorgeous film, IMO, with sets that convinced me to return for a second viewing, despite its difficult subject matter. And the depth and breadth of human experience it reveals  — well, for the week after enjoying this movie, I toyed with the idea that I should actually throw out my 40+ years of writing stories (yes, I started when I was six) and learn how to craft a screenplay.

Old Dog New Tricks

Old Dog New Tricks (Photo credit: maxymedia)

And. But. One: I’m an old dog, it’d be a new trick, etcetera; there is truth to adages. Two: I love stories more than I enjoy movies. Three: see my previous post; my short story has me in its howling grip and I can’t/won’t walk away from it.

Then: VQR arrived in the mail, with Richard Nash’s essay, What is the Business of Literature. He writes eloquently about the book as technology — like a chair! or the wheel! — and concludes, “Literature is about blowing sh*t up.” (He uses the entire s word. My kids read these posts so I’m making an effort to be family friendly.)

Then, in early May, we went to Iron Man 3. It is always a pleasure to watch Robert Downey Jr. in action. But the last, oh, 30-40 minutes is naught but explosions, and glistening-with-sweat near-death misses. The opposite of the still, quiet, physical-explosion-free Amour, which was, for me,  the more devestating movie.

Marcel Proust in 1900

Marcel Proust in 1900 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I have pondered the appeal of each of these films, and the motivation behind those who imagined and created them. They are as different as Marcel Proust and formulaic romance novels, yet, like each of those genres, each holds its pleasures for this reader. They each have a place in the human experience; they each have something to teach us about how to behave with each other.

And they each started with a story in someone’s head. I don’t care if you write comic books or Great Literature, an effective story is both well-told and compelling. Check out Donald Maas’ comment on Julianna Baggott’s post at Writer (un)Boxed for his succinct analysis of the false dichotomy between stories that are sold to us as “literature” versus those promoted as “entertainment.”

In Amour, the sh*t that gets blown up, as in expanded, was my idea of end-of-life care and what it may require of us, as humans, lovers, family. In Iron Man 3, the sh*t that gets blown up is more literal: buildings, oil tankers, human beings. Eye-candy fireworks.

But it’s all about blowing it up.

Put in your ear plugs, strike your match and light your fuse. Let us see your explosion.

Incompetence

I spent a blissed-out couple of days at the Porches this past weekend, participating in Valley Haggard‘s writing retreat. As I confessed to our small group on the first day, I have been fastidiously avoiding a story that’s been poke-poke-poking me for the last three months. Because it is a story I lack the competence to write.

Or perhaps another way to describe it is as “the story that I’ve told myself a story about.” Although I am sure of the title, and of the last scene, I do not have the broad general or the small specific knowledge to portray one of its protagonists: an evangelical man.

I’m not a man. I’m not evangelical. My tongue mangles the word evangelical when I speak it aloud.

But! Here is the prompt from Valley that shifted my willingness to try to write the story. Admit to yourself you don’t think you can write the story. Then mutter to yourself: “If I WERE going to write this story, however, this is what I would say.”

Perhaps as you’ve already guessed, when I pretend I’m not really writing the story, just writing about what I would write, IF I were writing, which I am NOT, ohnonotmedon’tthinkI’mwritingI’mnotstoplooking! … then … a whole bunch of stuff pours out.

English: Maple sap being transformed to maple ...

English: Maple sap being transformed to maple syrup at a sugar shack in Pakenham, Ontario. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It’s a messy pour, and my knowledge gaps are like sticky pools of syrup. But I’ve set little “find out more” notes adrift in these pools, and now when I need a break from the writing, I hop on Wikipedia and start to clean them up.

Yee-Haw!